So my month long sabbatical has turned into a relatively permanent one. Not everything went completely as planned, considering Johnny and I are in the middle of a big move, but it’s actually for the best. We’ll be saving tons of money and ready for Argentina in no time.
Since I haven’t been working a typical 9 to 5 for 5 weeks now (!!!), I’ve had a lot of time to sit and think about what I want to do in my life. I know I want to travel, but as far as a long term career plan…I don’t have one.
And that’s completely okay.
At 24, I’ve realized that I don’t have to have everything figured right now. It’s okay to not have a concrete plan. It’s okay to not set a timeline on myself to get married by a certain age, have a career by a certain age, have children by a particular age. I’m completely fine planning for my trip to Argentina and seeing where the wind takes me.
I feel that the “crisis” part of my quarterlife crisis is nearing an end. My panic attacks have nearly subsided; I’m no longer in the depths of depression. The clouds have parted and I finally see all what life has to offer me. I feel completely alive. When I wake in the morning, there is no dread attacking my body. I feel like a have a greater purpose in life.
The word “crisis” is too strong, too harsh and jarring. It has a terribly, negative connotation, something I feel is inappropriate for how I feel now. I feel as if I have evolved. I am happy. I am vibrant, beaming with light and love. So I’ve started calling this period in life my Quarterlife Discovery.
I’ve discovered I don’t want to be a talent agent. Completely okay.
I’ve discovered that the office was completely poisoning me. From the sugary snacks and sodas, to the sitting in a windowless room for 9 hours a day, my body was completely fatigued. Since I haven’t been working, I’ve been dropping weight like crazy. My hair and nails have started to grow, my skin has cleared up, and my confidence has skyrocketed.
I’ve discovered that my sex life was completely in shambles while I was depressed. I would come home in a piss ass mood and didn’t want to be touched at all. The rare occasions I had sex, I was completely lifeless. It got to the point I couldn’t even remember the last time I had sex. A terrible sex life has an even more terrible effect on a relationship. Johnny as irritable; I was irritable. I can’t imagine that we were pleasant to be around. Since I’ve stopped working, it’s been a complete 180. We just can’t seem to get enough of each other. And that my friends, is always a GREAT thing.
I’ve discovered so many more passions I didn’t know I had. Art, jewelry, vegan and vegetarian cooking, the environment, practicing sustainability, tea, wine, spin class, Brazilian and French music, natural health and skin care, cartography, typography, etc. The list goes on for days!
I’ve discovered my zest for learning. I’ve been watching documentaries like it’s going out of style. TED talks, listening to NPR in the car instead of music, reading anything I can get my hands on. I feel so much more a part of the world. I didn’t realize how much the office was stifling my love for learning.
And I’m starting to discover who I really am. I’m a hippie at heart. I want to do more in this world than just sit and watch life pass me by. I want to volunteer, help children, plant trees, help Mother Earth. I curse like a sailor and I’m completely okay with that. I’m a night owl. I love the sound of laughter. I’ve discovered I really dislike chick flicks. I’ve found out how to really love my body. I’ve never felt more comfortable in my skin, stretch marks and all. I’m a strong, vibrant, beautiful young woman.
I wasn’t expecting to leave my job and wake up with all the answers to my life the next day. I’m actually quite enjoying the process of finding things that interest me, of taking each day as it comes and preparing myself for Argentina. I don’t have any end results planned…and that’s completely fine. The most fun about life is the journey.
“It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end.”Ursula K. LeGuin