Last month, I wrote a post about how I felt like I was floating…not really sure of my purpose or what the hell was going on in my life. And like I said in the post, that nagging feeling just didn’t go away. My motivation and creativity just stopped working. I didn’t feel like doing anything. I blamed any and everything but myself. The weather was too hot. The rain was too much. My bed was so comfortable. I felt myself drifting off into the depression zone. Which is weird, because I’m actually having a great time here.
I had fallen into a terrible, terrible, rut. My day would go something like this:
7:20am: Alarm goes off. Hit snooze.
7:30am: Alarm goes off again. Hit snooze.
7:40am: Alarm goes off yet again. Have thoughts that I’m going to be terribly late, but I still don’t wake up. I’m exhausted.
7:50am: Finally drag myself out of bed, take the fastest shower known to man, throw on some clothes, slap on some makeup, make a protein shake and run out of the door by 8:20am.
8:45am to 4:30pm: Teach class (or deskwarm) and count down the hours until I can go home and take a nap. My brain didn’t want to work. I’d mindlessly click around the internet ALL day and nothing would get accomplished.
5:00pm: Eat ramen or some other type of terrible food, click around on the internet some more even though. Watch an episode of Martin or Golden Girls.
6:00pm: Lay down for a 30 minute nap.
8:00pm: Wake up 2 hours later from my 30 minute nap. Kick myself for sleeping so long.
8:30/9:00pm: Attempt to make dinner. Or go and get fried chicken or pizza.
10:00pm until 2:00am: Click mindlessly around the internet. AGAIN. Try to sleep. Toss and turn because I took a 2 hour nap.
7:20am: It all starts again.
It was TERRIBLE. I wasn’t doing anything productive, mind stimulating, or creative. I wasn’t eating healthy or working out. I just didn’t know what to do.
Then, last week, I taught a brilliant lesson to my students about making a bucket list. There were the truly hilarious ones: Meet a foreigner from India and fall in love, Be a dragon, Eat cheese all day, Buy Hawaii, Raise a cheetah, etc. Then there were the ones that lit a fire inside of me: Write my own book, Start my own blog, Backpack around Europe with my friends, Be a diplomat.
As I was helping a student spell “Serengeti”, it hit me. Why don’t *I* write down my goals? Why don’t I make a list of all the things I want to do, short term and long term?
I went home that night and started brainstorming like crazy. It was like I had woken up from a dream. All of a sudden, I felt like I had purpose, like I had something to do. It really was THAT simple. I talked with Johnny, and we made a schedule of all the things that we both need to get done during the day. Just having some sort of structure, lists and check marks, makes such a difference.
Some of my goals: Lose 20 lbs (10lbs by October 31. I have 7 more to go!), write 2 new blog posts a week, take more pictures, eat healthy, home cooked meals at least 5 times a week, explore a new area of Seoul/Bundang each week, try a new cafe or restaurant each week, no naps during the week, etc.
I really feel like a new person. I’ve been going to sleep at a regular time, eating really healthy, working out (I just started couch to 5k), working hard on my blog. I’ve already lost 3lbs, and my energy levels are through the roof. I even signed up for some free online college courses through Coursera and EdX. Next month, I’ll be taking Introduction to Obesity Economics and Introduction to Computer Science. I’ve been toying with the idea of getting a masters degree, and taking some online college classes will let me know if it’s something I actually want to do. (PS, If you haven’t heard of Coursera or EdX, you are missing out. GO GO GO!)
Having a set of goals and lists and schedules is something that doesn’t work for everyone, but I’ve found that it definitely works for me, and is something that I need to constantly have in my life. I don’t think I’ll ever be without them again.